


2:45 AM

by thecluelessphilosopher



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: COC 2019, M/M, elliot Smith is pretty cool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21596740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecluelessphilosopher/pseuds/thecluelessphilosopher
Summary: Baz has insomnia. Simon has love for Baz.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton “Baz” Grimm-Pitch/Simon Snow
Kudos: 18





	2:45 AM

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr @the-clueless-philosopher

**Dreams - 2:45 AM**

**Baz**

I jerk awake at 2:45 AM. I can’t remember what woke me, if anything did. Pitches are cursed with insomnia, I think that’s what makes me such a good vampire. I sit up, indifferent to my surroundings. I’ve become accustomed to the torturously in between aura of the early hours of the day. The terrible voice I can’t get out of my head. I shake violently but I’m not cold. I try to lie down and I but I am jerked back and forth like an emphatic hummingbird. I sit up and I get irrationally fatigued like I don’t have the strength to hold myself. Then the mute memories start talking. The thoughts and fears I can usually push away become uncontrollably persistent. All the insecurities I’ve filed away shoot into back skull and I can’t throw them out. They fill the unbearable silence. I can hear the stale energy in the room, at the same time the anxiety thoughts crowd every corner of my consciousness, forcing me to confront my dark side. I look at the beautiful golden boy in front of me. I hold on to his bronze curls, illuminated by the moonlight and his sea of freckles scattered across his cheeks. He’s my anchor...but it’s not enough tonight. I’m paralyzed by fear or anxiety or just by the futility of my situation. Why can’t I leave the realm in between sleep and wake. Why can’t I leave? 

**Simon**

I wake up to the change in Baz’s breath. He wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes, he assumes I don’t know. He tortures himself with anything he can think of. I wish I could understand what goes on in his head. The person he used to be or thought he was, maybe even thinks he is, haunts him in the late hours of the night. I sit up and wrap my arms around his quivering body. 

“It’s okay, Love”

The shivering slows.

“Baz, its okay”

He looks at me. 

“I’m sorry” he says, weakly. 

“Its okay, darling,”

“I’m sorry, I’ll never be able to fix myself, I’m broken”

“We match”

For the first time in a while, Baz holds on to me. Like he needs me. Like we could put each other back together.

Alone, I’m nothing better than broken parts, with Baz, I can build something new. 

I grip Baz’s neck and bring his forehead to mine. Tears with an unknowable cause stream down our faces. I hold on to his stormy grey eyes, hoping if I hold on long enough, I can put us back together. 


End file.
